(actually, I heard from a good source he was born next to a river)
For your safety, remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the kitchen and be sure to involve your kids.
If any of you folks are wearing hats or glasses, best remove em' cause this here is the wildest recipe in the wilderness!
I was just thinkin' the other day...while roamin' 'round town, you know in Frontierland? I just past the Golden Horsehoe and stopped into in the Mercantile. I was lookin' at all the fine stuff they were sellin'...hats, nifty little rifles (which make a real nice "pop" sound when ya fire 'em)...and then I spotted a gosh darn coon skin cap!
My ol' friend Davy Crockett wore a coon skin cap, so like I said...I was thinking...I wonder (of course) what kind of soup ol' Davy liked. Then I remembered that song he used to hum and sing when he was fixin' vittles.
Here's a sample of how it goes:
The thing is, Davy would sing this to remind him of the recipe (clever fellow), luckly I put it to pen and paper and so I thought I'd share it:
(sing along now)
Morn is up and I’m fixin’ to cook
Lookin’ online and my recipe book
Found me a soup so I took a look
At what I’ll need for this gobbledygook
Split pea, Split pea soup, the kind with ham in too.
A bag of split peas is what I’ll need
Enough to make for a few to feed
Some ham and onions and don’t forget a leek
Carrots and some garlic and spices I seek
Split pea, Split pea soup, high in fiber so you can poo.
Ya layer each ingredient but don’t stir at all
Pour in some chicken stock till it’s good n’ full
Turn on the crock pot and that aint no bull
Four to five hours later then fill yer bowl
Split pea, Split pea soup, why not try some soon?
Just layer each ingredient in this order.
#1) A 16 oz bag of dry split peas
#2) 1/2 to 1 cup of diced ham (don't stir!)
#3) About 1/2 cup if diced carrots (don't you stir!)
#4) Same for some onions (don't stir, nope)
#5) and leeks (no, not yet)
#6) 2 minced garlic cloves (AH!...put that spoon down)
#7) Some salt, papper, a bay leaf and I tossed in a pinch or two of red pepper flakes (no, no, no)
#8) Add in 6 cups of chicken broth (not yet! NOT YET!)
Let go for at least 4 hours...but don't stir, did I mention that?
#9) Maybe a dab or four of some butter and check the taste and adjust (Whew! you made it...OK...NOW stir!)
I had to goin' fer 'bout 4 hours on high, checked it...nope, still too crunchy...so another hour or so and it was just right. I thought I was going to have to blend it a bit, but after a while everything broke down it was just the right consistency...creamy with still something to bite on.
Great for those cold days...freezes well...dunk some sourdough roll or a biscuit in it.
Well...now where should I wonder off to? Hmmm...I think I heard some Dixieland music coming from over yonder...